What Disney cartoons have taught me (plus one random fact of the day)

What Disney cartoons have taught me:

1. The Little Mermaid: Men, when hit on the head, will think that whoever sings to him when he wakes up will be his one true love. And you do not want to upset octopuses, especially those that can turn you into shrivelled up nothings that live at the bottom of the ocean.

2. Cinderella: Mice and pumpkins are your friends. And before you leave on your first date, remember to leave something for the guy so he can comb the entire city looking for you.

3. The Sleeping Beauty: Again, men are foolishly attracted to girls who can sing well. And why the hell would you want to touch a stupid spindle?

4. Beauty and the Beast: A beast looks hot when transformed back into a man, so be nice to him!

5. Snow White: You have to do all the household chores if you want to live with seven short men. Remember to stroke their egos while planning your escape from patriarchal oppression.

6. Aladdin: Beware of boys from market places with pet monkeys. They lie about their identities so you will fall in love with them. (That said, I do like Aladdin.)

* Random fact of the day:
Lifeguards wear sunglasses not only because the sun’s too strong, but because they won’t get caught sleeping on the job.

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