This is kind of random, but I’ve been talking to a few INFJs lately (we make up just 1 percent of the population), and it’s been so nice to find people who get you, get your weirdness, and are coasting right on your wavelength.
Some common things INFJs hear are:
“You hardly ever go out!”
“Man, you’re boring.”
“Why don’t you ever want to do anything?”
“Are these the few friends you have?”
And really, it’s not like that.
It’s not that we hate company; we just need time to be alone every day. It’s how we recharge.
It’s not that we don’t want to spend time with you; we just don’t need to be with you all the time. Some space and distance isn’t a bad thing.
It’s not that we hate going out; we just need a purpose for doing that. I’ve found myself aimlessly wandering the streets just because I went out for the sake of going out. But it felt completely meaningless and unstimulating. I’ve got more things to do at home – blog, read, write, scroll through Tumblr…
It’s not that our social circle is small; it’s just that want to focus more on every person in our lives. We regard personal relationships very seriously, so we want to know that the people around us are worth spending time and energy and effort on if we’re going to invest so much emotion in them.
It’s not that we don’t want to open up to you; it’s just hard for us to lay ourselves bare to someone who might decide not to care and/or walk out of your life the next minute, or after they realise what a neurotic bag of weirdness we are.
Sometimes, I wish I didn’t feel so much, and am able to get over the hurt after listening to a song or something.
Sometimes, I wish I didn’t over analyse things to death, or wear myself thin worrying about every little thing.
Sometimes, I wish I were an ENFP, so maybe things would be easier. I would find it easier to fit in, move on faster from things that bum me out, and internalise my emotions less.
But thank goodness for other INFJs. ENFPs may be super fun to hang out with, but I think at the end of the day it’s the INFJs who really get you.
Fellow INFJs, do you feel lonely in a crowded world?